Till Death Do us Part...and After

This is not a normal love story..ours is an extraordinary tale of how love goes on even after death has made it's claim. My story begins on a rainy day in October...
The day was just like any other day. I went to work and he left for his. We had planned for a dinner date in the evening to celebrate my just confirmed pregnancy. It was a news we had been longing to hear ever since we got married last September. I waited for him in front of the Coffee shop which had been our favorite ever since we started dating in college. And there he was waiting for me..with his smiling brown eyes and a bouquet of red roses on his arms. We've been dating since were in college so before we got married we dated a good 5 years. And till now I  never felt our love ever fading. Wherever we may be, at the end of the day we ran back to each other like we haven't seen each other in years waiting to love each other. I stood there for a second looking at him and thinking what would ever happen to me if i ever lose him. I shivered with the thought itself. Seeing this he ran to my side thinking i was chilled and said in the gentle voice I'd become so used to,"Darling..lets go inside before you get cold". Till now i can not forget how we ran through the streets under the slight drizzle of rain holding each other tightly, waiting to exchange our stories of the day.
     After a lovely dinner we decided we'd take a cab home and not walk home like we normally do. I couldn't understand it then but i felt like that day was different..like something was  missing.I couldn't exactly understand it then but it was such a feeling filled with emptiness, like i was gonna be taken away from him.My heart ached even at the thought. I shrugged the feeling away thinking it was a part of the mood swings I've been feeling lately due to my pregnancy. I hugged him closely and told him," Honey..don't ever leave me,i'll die". He turned to me and said," Never..I'll be with you even after forever". Those were the words he'd always tell me when we have fights or I'm sad. Today they ring in my ears and  my mind is filled with his face and his warm embrace and with it a feeling like my heart has been torn into a thousand pieces. When we reached our warm penthouse, it was then that i realized i'd forgotten my purse in the restaurant. I had the contact for my new clients whom i had to call that night itself. Hearing about the urgency he told me to dry myself and that he'd run back to get it. I could've stopped him but i didn't..I just shooked my head and went towards the bedroom anxious to get out of my soaked clothes. After maybe an hour of waiting I heard his footsteps and i ran to open the door. He was soaked and had my purse in his hands. I could hear distant sirens ringing but paid no attention to it. All that mattered at that moment was holding him. He was so cold and he shivered badly. Without a word he went into the bathroom and got out of his clothes. Finally he came out, lied next to me and kissed me and our unborn baby. Something was wrong with him. I could feel it. He was so cold and he kept saying how much he loved me and that he won't leave me. The sirens were getting too loud like they were just in front of our house. He seemed unaware of it. I turned to him and saw him smiling at me with the same love in his eyes i'd seen for the last 7 years. I heard a knock on the door and got up to go and open it. At hat moment he held me close and told me he'd always be there for me and that i was not to worry ever. I said," Dan the door..i'll go see who it is at this hour". I felt a bit scared at his behavior but he just smiled at me and said not a word after that. I closed the bedroom door and went to open the door. Standing there was Dan's brother, Alex, looking like he had been crying. Alex and Dan had always been close. With Alex were two policemen both of whom were trying not to look at me. Then Alex said something that haunts me till this day,"Its Dan..Liz he met an accident near the coffee shop, a drunk driver.He died at the instant Liz . I'm so sorry".  I looked at Alex like i didn't know who he was and simply said," Alex...you must be wrong because Dan is in the bedroom". The three of them just stared at me like I'd lost my mind. I had to tell them they were wrong and that Dan was okay so i ran to the bedroom. And there I saw...it was empty. There was no trace of Dan anywhere. But then i saw the purse he got back for me near my pillow. I remember nothing after that but just Alex's panicky voice shouting my name over and over again. And the voice inside my head saying,"I'll be with you even after forever".......

Morality in Humanity

In life you face many challenges and events which either makes you very sad or very happy,either way the point is ,both leads to the same result...."you learn from that particular experience"!!It's easy to trust many fake personalities or worse... destructive one's.I'm sure many of you who are reading this blog will know what i'm talking about.Sometimes you're hurt because you might've trusted the wrong person or made the wrong choice in your actions....it really hurts doesn't it,to know how wrong you can be about people whom you think you have known all your life???
 Let me tell you then that life is just so.Nothing you can do will ever change  your notion that you even have a chance of changing humanity.Point no.1:No matter what you do to get people to like you that will not entirely happen nor can you shut silly rumors because whether you're an angel straight from heaven or something even better either way people will always be talking about you in a"bad" way..So the best thing you can do is just relax and be yourself.Never feel sorry for yourself but be sorry for those who have caused you "a moment's grief" because of their own insecurities and naivety! The world is a small place indeed!!!
 Maybe it's silly to write about this or  unnecessary even but i believe if you share such things maybe you might learn to be more careful in future ,or it might even wake you up and make you start wondering about a lot of things which you might've never noticed before.But just so you know life does go on and ,maybe you can't imagine it now but one day you will be able to learn to forgive.It's really dumb when i hear people say"forgive and forget",because you might forget a lot of pleasant events but the one which needs forgiving..that you will never forget no matter how hard you try. That doesn't mean you will never stop hating or hurting but as the years will pass along then time will eventually soften your pain so that what you will feel will be as close to forgetting about the things that makes you sad..It's a fact that life will never satisfy you ..but when you are proved of this fact through certain situations in your life all i wanna say is that you don't ever give up on yourself or your dreams...nobody is worth doing that for, even in your most upsetting case.Remember this is about you and your life..you have the control and those are your dreams ...you're special and if that makes you stand out in a weird way..so be it!!!

  

Of Life and Respect....

did you ever wonder for even a tiny fraction of a second in your busy schedule about life and its delicacy..????well too much free time has got me wondering about it a lot..every morning that i open the newspaper i read about people being killed or see  pictures of mutilated corpses.everyday the same question pops up in my head...what right does anyone have in this world to take away from someone his life which we could never give in the first place!!! Isn't it  wrong even to kill animals because by killing them we are taking something special from them.."their life".so come to think about it aren't humans and animals all the same ???so why is it that we think so little and have such unsympathetic feelings when we kill them , aren't they living things too,with god given life????

     Every living being is unique and special in their own way.People have a wrong way of trying to gain respect for themselves in this world.It's so obvious if you just look around you.But in my opinion a person can only have the respect he deserves if and only if he has respect  for his fellow beings and for humanity as a whole.Respect might come with job or  your social status but if there is no empathy for those who might be lesser than your status then i would ask you the question...is what you think you're having really called respect?? It might be survival of the fittest or so they say that helps us survive in this world..true to some extent yet we all need each other to survive so what is the use of having all that fame and glory without that "inner respect" !!

    So it all comes back to the same thing...LIFE! We have no guarantee that we'll live forever or whether we might die tomorrow.So when you get up in the morning and you open your eyes and take that first breath,be grateful that you've been given another day to live and not just take that gift for granted because when you go and look at that morning paper you"ll  see those unfortunate  few that have been denied that gift.LIFE so delicate...why should anyone take that away from the other. Cherish your life and of your fellow men because if it's ever taken from you nothing you can do will ever get it back...and when the time comes when you"ll have to let go of it there will never be regret  but only peace!!!

     

Random

Tides of time and faded memories
The past and all the untold fairy stories
When words fail to describe the hollowness
Your thoughts are in a chaos...and your hearts a complete mess
Comfy weather to succumb you more deep
You toss and turn at night cause you can't sleep
All that you can think of,might make you smile
Yet not enough to stop the tears even for a while
When rainbows and butterflies appear so bleakly
Sunshine and daisies beneath so meekly
Laughter so still and joy unfounded
While in your distant dreams you're left stranded
Remember the days when all was sane
Before the end,and the moonlight touch your lane
Into the pit you stare at the darkness
Forever more,you'll fall nevertheless.
Paradise Lost forever not to be found
Then Paradise regained yet we are earthbound
And guardian Angels are simply what cannot be seen
Gladiators and Troy those that had only once been
Longing for those which are so beyond
Deep,untouched,singled out without a sound
Ashamed and abandoned yet without fears,
Going forever forward...marching blindly through the years!!!

Exams

Well its not that bad actually...sometimes..i mean there's no class and its actually a sort of a break from the hectic college life.Then again there's the ridiculous  study routine..whew talking about that itself wears me out!!
The moment i get into the exam hall i always happen to remember that (just at that exact moment....) oh yeah...i forgot to read that and that other one...my list is just endless..!! So with a heavy heart as the bell rings i close the text books,walk past the anxious lecturer whom i would be staring at for the next 3 hrs,gather the things i'd be needing and scream at my classmates "all the best" from my corner.
   So..i'm just sitting there humming some silly Taylor Swift song...staring at everyone...staring...oops brief eye contact with the lecturer....staring....what???she just looked at me again...probably thinks i'm cheating..!! My day just couldn't get any better........
      Finally the bell rings and i run out of class to 'discuss' the paper and  preparing myself for another silly day...hoping some miracle of a holiday would come out of nowhere...yet...i guess its all fun in all its weird sort of way..so hoping everyone else out there is having better luck than me..all the best guys!

IMMORTALITY VS MORTALITY

A  lecture given by our corporate communication lecturer one lazy class after lunch hour was where it all began...
the topic was all about the history of communication etc etc.,but a point mentioned by sir on Akbar the emperor really got me thinking! What is the actual purpose of our life?...which is,by the way,extremely delicate and ends up six feet under no matter how invincible we try to be,which is so obvious through our actions and efforts to achieve the impossible.History is not particularly in my line of interest but I've got to admit it is rather interesting to note great men in action trying to carve an immortal name for themselves in the great book of history.Indeed!!who doesn't want that!!!But a thing which attracts my attention apart from their works is whether these men would've chosen a different life,a different chance if they would've been given the opportunity.A simple thought to ponder on......